What, you mean cars don't come equipped with Bush/Cheney stickers as a standard feature? Sweetteaprohibition goes to Vermont

Our society's obsession with faster and cheaper really comes home when you consider the damage it's done to the humble hamburger. A cow's been sacrificed, decades of work perfecting the hamburger have taken place, and still, some places insist on thin, filler-laden wafer-thin patties with about as much taste as a lump of coal. This is what I ran into on my way up to Vermont. In the Detroit airport (which has a surprisingly placid, New Agey light and sound display in one of the inter-terminal walkways), I sat down in a booth, absolutely famished because I hadn't had any breakfast, and I had to stomach a charred crime against nature between two buns. Yea, verily, I told myself, I would have to repay my body for the harm I was inflicting on it now.

So, Vermont. What can be said about Vermont, other than that it's a wonderland, lush, green, and beautiful.

I stayed at the Capitol Plaza, a hotel right in the heart of Montpelier. It's a curious mixture of hotel rooms and offices. On one floor, for example, you have the Vermont Republican Party. On another, you have Vermont Public Radio. I wonder if, once a year, the rest of the hotel clears out to let these two groups have it out, Battle Royale style around the elevators and overpriced drink machines ($1.00 for a can of Pepsi? Come on!). For its part, Montpelier is charming, a state capitol of around 5000-6000 people (I believe I read that it's the smallest state capital in America). Easy to walk around, and unlike in Clemson, SC, trying to assert your rights as a pedestrian isn't a suicide mission.

And nearly everyone here drives a Subaru. Or a Volvo. Or a Saab. Or a small Toyota. Visiting Canadians seemed to drive larger cars, and drove them much faster. Oddly, every car I saw with a Quebec plate was covered in mud. Did Homeland Security build a big moat or something at the border that I didn't hear about?

The first night, I headed to Waterbury (on the good word-of-mouth of coworkers who had been up here before me) and checked out Marsala Salsa (15 Stowe St., Waterbury, 802-244-1150). Two words: Mexican and Indian. As in food. In the same restaurant. It makes you ask which angel, in the early days of Creation, became God's favorite for coming up with that combination. This place, and its food, was unbelievable. As two small children wrestled in the middle of the restaurant, I had the Baja Rellenos - Poblano peppers stuffed with chicken, crab, chorizo sausage, lovingly draped with Monterrey Jack cheese, accompanied by a subtle side of red/pinto beans and rice. Oh, it was so good.

The next day, we had lunch at the Thrush Tavern , where I was surprised to learn that you could order burgers on the rare side (I guess, because of liability worries or law, restaurants in South Carolina don't cotton to our more carnivorous burger desires). Still, the food was excellent, and while I was quickly becoming aware that Vermont is not a state that believes in drink refills, it more than made up for that crusty piece of the devil's own hindquarters I had in the Detroit airport. While getting recommendations for places to eat, a place was mentioned which marinates its hamburger patties in Guinness. Forget God's favorite angels. What forgetful god left his culinary angels in the hills of Vermont, with free rein to unleash the wonders of Heaven's kitchens and taps upon the mortal world?

Later that night, I went to a hole-in-the-wall bar called Charlie-O's. As I walked in, a group of guys were debating the merits of the Lousiana Purchase and the influence of the Acadians (all in the context of Hurricane Katrina, I guess). Not long after, the entire bar watched Jeopardy, yelling out the answers. Probably the funniest thing I realized, as I drank my Guinness, is that Vermont's public smoking laws forced everyone out the back door for a smoke every twenty minutes or so. There I'd be, sipping my beer and watching the Red Sox, and suddenly the whole bar would head out the back door, with the bartendress joking, "Last one left is in charge." It was a nice place, not nearly as scary as some locals made it sound (heck, the Myrtle Beach boardwalk is probably the scariest place I've been in a while, and that's not a joke -- it's pretty scary) -- and it looked like they had decent music on a regular basis.  For some reason, most hole-in-the wall locals bar get that kind of reputation, which I've never understood. Maybe it's self-created, to keep the tourists out.

The next night, back to Waterbury to check out The Alchemist . Very cool brew pub, only a couple of years old as I understand it, with a ton of house brews. This is where I had the best red beans and rice of my life, with andouille sausage, plenty of sour cream to bring the heat down, and some olive garnish. It was so good it was unreal. Highly recommended spot to eat, with good beers, and as you come to almost take for granted in Vermont, a sense of community. I really wish I'd had time, on the way back to the airport, to stop here again.

Vermont was absolutely great. I joked with my wife that if I'd spent another couple of days there, I would have gone native and not come back. She rightly countered that I'd be back at the first frost. True, true. I do like the Southern heat. In the short amount of time I was there, I'm sure I've romanticized it a pretty good bit. But it was nice to be in a place where people seem to not only be reasonably well-informed, but to also be willing to adjust their lifestyles accordingly, by recycling, buying locally, or otherwise putting their money where their mouth is. Yeah, it's a liberal state, and I definitely appreciate that, but the conservatives still seemed to have some of what I consider to be some old-school flavor, still concerned with the encroachment of the federal gov't into our daily lives. With the aforementioned smoking law, both liberals and conservatives seemed to share the same unease that it might be getting on the slippery slope of lost rights.

But overall, Vermont was excellent. The people are really nice. The landscape is absolutely gorgeous. The food is wonderful.

Unfortunately, I missed the leaves changing colors by about a week. Before going up there, I was skeptical that it could be that impressive. But seeing the state when it was green was almost overwhelming. A few of the trees were just starting to turn, and you could tell it was going to be mighty impressive.

(c) 2005 Sweet Tea Prohibition